Trumpenfuhrer cancels elections, China
The Trumpenfuhrer's top doctors today announced an initiative to perform what they refer to as a "China-ectomy." This is in response to the outbreak of Chinese Flu that the globalists at the World "Health" Organization insist came from a wet market and not from the nearby bioweapons lab. (To demonstrate their commitment to this thesis, the globalists at the World "Health" organization have allowed said wet market to reopen.)
The Trumpenfuhrer took to the podium today to decry China's continued existence, and therefore announced that in conjunction with declarations by the governments of Italy, Japan, and the puppet "government" of Britain (we would have invited Germany, but they're run by an icky globalist woman), the following alterations to diplomacy with China were being made:
In addition, the Trumpenfuhrer personally intervened in the ongoing Wisconsin election crisis. The subversive Gruppenfuhrer of Wisconsin, Tony Evers, had conspired to suppress Republican turnout at a critical Supreme Court election by postponing another Republican election until May. Rather than wait for the pesky courts to resolve this situation in their own convoluted means, the Trumpenfuhrer implored Gruppenfuhrer Evers to postpone all "elections" until after the Chinese Flu crisis had been dealt with. But Evers, yielding to the delusions of the escaped spastic moppet Joe "Hands" Biden, insisted on holding the election. So the Trumpenfuhrer did the only thing he could have done to save American lives: he had the subversive Evers disappeared and the elections cancelled. All hail new Wisconsin chief justice Jared Kushner.
The Trumpenfuhrer took to the podium today to decry China's continued existence, and therefore announced that in conjunction with declarations by the governments of Italy, Japan, and the puppet "government" of Britain (we would have invited Germany, but they're run by an icky globalist woman), the following alterations to diplomacy with China were being made:
- all Chinese consulates immediately to be closed and converted into Trumpenfuhrer Museums of American Greatness (the other, lesser countries would of course turn their consulates in to Museums of Other, Lesser Greatness)
- all Chinese embassies impounded and turned over to duly recognized ambassadors from Taiwan
- all debt currently held by China against the New Axis is cancelled
- all trade between China and the New Axis is halted
- no partnership, corporation, or other company may do business both with/in China and with/in any of the New Axis countries
- China will immediately dismantle its artificial islands
- Chinese leaders will crawl through the filthiest streets of San Francisco and prostrate themselves in apology for what they have done
- China to pay punitive and compensatory damages to all New Axis countries
In addition, the Trumpenfuhrer personally intervened in the ongoing Wisconsin election crisis. The subversive Gruppenfuhrer of Wisconsin, Tony Evers, had conspired to suppress Republican turnout at a critical Supreme Court election by postponing another Republican election until May. Rather than wait for the pesky courts to resolve this situation in their own convoluted means, the Trumpenfuhrer implored Gruppenfuhrer Evers to postpone all "elections" until after the Chinese Flu crisis had been dealt with. But Evers, yielding to the delusions of the escaped spastic moppet Joe "Hands" Biden, insisted on holding the election. So the Trumpenfuhrer did the only thing he could have done to save American lives: he had the subversive Evers disappeared and the elections cancelled. All hail new Wisconsin chief justice Jared Kushner.
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