El Presidente detects structural abnormality in economy

By James -

 Greetings and saluti, comrades. Am reports big goings-on in glorious People's Republic of Kakistan to-day. 

Economic forensics laboring gloriously under El Presidente's supreme leadership have detected what is referring to "structural abnormalities" in glorious People's Republic economy. El Presidente's economists have assured us that ordinary people THE HARD-WORKING PROLETARIAT, THE TRUE HEROES OF GLORIOUS KAKISTAN cannot detect these structural abnormalities and will not affecting by them. Adding that it would be "unfair and absurd" to expect the rich, upon whom this burden rightfully belongs, to pass it on to the serf underclass HEROIC PIONEERS OF SOCIALIST LABOR. 

Although economy is suffering from inflation CALMLY WEATHERING THE STORM OF STRUCTURAL ABNORMALITIES this is still far too complex a situation for meager capitalist running dogs to handle. Having been alerted to the backlogs of cargo ships in and outside Kakistani ports, El Presidente immediately put his magnificent and in-no-way-impaired brain to the task. His solution is twofold:

  1. All work quotas in Kakistani ports are doubled. Glorious socialist laborers to be compensated with an extra scoop of ice cream.
  2. Mayor-Secretary Pete Boatyface is to assume emergency powers to assure smoothing delivery of all intra-Kakistani shipments.
Mayor-Secretary Boatyface is of coarse immensely qualified for this job. Among his many qualifications:
  1. He likes men.
  2. He likes trains.
  3. He ran for president that one time.

TOP. MEN.
We are in best of hands, Comrades!

El Presidente's Ice Cream Flavor of the Day is VANILLA. Enjoy a scoop of VANILLA ice cream today to celebrate nothing at all being unusual.

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