The Blog in the High Castle

Aloha, Kakistanis. Public servicing announcement: Bad Orange Man is out of the White House. We no longer need to pretend that The Handmaid's Tale is good. El Presidente met with the Russian Burly Bear (no homo) yesterday and gave him a list of sixteen pieces of "critical infrastructure" that the Russian Burly Bear shouldn't cyberattack if he doesn't want to get a strongly-worded letter from Comrade Princess Doctor Jill. They are as follows: Ice cream shops Alzheimer's research labs Comrade Princess Doctor Jill's manicurist Ray-Ban factories Solar farms and wind turbines (but not nuclear power plants, those are yucky) The Barack O'Biden Presidential Library The Dr. Ibram X. Kendi University of Blame Whitey You know, the thing. The George Kirby Memorial Square Hunter's Babymama Hush Fund Shampoo factories and stores The Sexual Harassment Payoff Fund Co-Vice-Shadow Presidentessa Harris's plastic surgeon The Joe Manchin Bribery Fund The SNL Bribery...

El Presidente reminds  the Russians of a great leader of theirs El Presidente continuing his first foreign trip, to visit vassal states in other parts of the English-speaking world, and to demonstrate to the Russian Burly Bear (no homo) that El Presidente is capable of walking under his own power. It was by all accounts a rousing success, because we have rounded up the journalists who said it wasn't a rounding success and had them disappeared. El Presidente furthered several diplomatic objectives such as excusing China, excusing Iran, and continuing to pretend that Canada is a real country . Vassalos everywhere were very impressed by El Presidente's ability to form complete sentences and demonstrate a mild awareness of his surroundings, and the Russian Burly Bear (no homo) complimented El Presidente on his ability to maintain eye contact. It has come to our attention that horrible rumor-mongers and muckrakers are pretending that Co-Vice-Shadow Presidentessa Harris has badly flu...

 El Presidente is resting comfortably. All is well. If all was not well, you would not be told, for your own good and to prevent a panic. El Presidente's Ice Cream Flavor of the Day is SEA SALT CARAMEL WITH TOFFEE. Enjoy a refreshing scoop of SEA SALT CARAMEL WITH TOFFEE ice cream today, or El Presidente will find out about it. After he wakes up from his nap.

 My fellow Kakistanis, a great new day dawns before us. We are mere hours away from institutioning a soviet socialist paradise the likes of which has never been seen on Earth, aside from Venezuela, Cuba, China, North Korea, Vietnam, Russia, Belarus, the Ukraine, Lithuania, Georgia, Estonia, Latvia, Moldova, Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Turkmenistan, and Kazakhstan. Also Chechnya and Transiti- Trasnistri- Transnist - eh, it's not important. Sadly, this dream of a better tomorrow is being stymied by a power-hungry white man named Joe Manchin. He is of refusing to eliminate the filibuster, a draconian racist anti-democratic measure that no Democrat in good standing would ever resort to. And the Democratic Party has always , always stood against this impediment to the Will Of The People. Without it, Manchin would be the deciding vote on every bill to be approved in the Senate, but he is refusing to eliminate it! He is so power-hungry ! We good Americans know...

Amigos, compadres, copains, paisanos, comrades, you are witnessing the new birth of Spinal Tap Phase 2.0 El Blog in La Grande Castello, celebrating the many accomplishings of El Presidente Jo'Bama Harris Biden and his team of hyperqualified sycophants. Yes indeed fellow Kakistanis, this is no longer a fascist dystopia. In fact, this is the only fascist dystopia that we didn't have to shoot our way out of, because El Presidente is just that awesome. There are many amazing facts and knowledges about our new Presidente, such as the fact that he is in full function of his mental faculties and anyone saying otherwise should be reported to the Twitter Bureau of Mental Hygiene. For example, before shouldering the tremendous burden of being our Presidente and having to assign Co-Vice-Shadow Presidentessa Harris to various responsibilities of which she is obviously supremely capable, our Presidente served as Official Impeachment-Proofer to Great Leader Obama, a function previously ente...