El Presidente Identifies Key Infrastructure

By James -
Aloha, Kakistanis. Public servicing announcement: Bad Orange Man is out of the White House. We no longer need to pretend that The Handmaid's Tale is good.

El Presidente met with the Russian Burly Bear (no homo) yesterday and gave him a list of sixteen pieces of "critical infrastructure" that the Russian Burly Bear shouldn't cyberattack if he doesn't want to get a strongly-worded letter from Comrade Princess Doctor Jill. They are as follows:
  1. Ice cream shops
  2. Alzheimer's research labs
  3. Comrade Princess Doctor Jill's manicurist
  4. Ray-Ban factories
  5. Solar farms and wind turbines (but not nuclear power plants, those are yucky)
  6. The Barack O'Biden Presidential Library
  7. The Dr. Ibram X. Kendi University of Blame Whitey
  8. You know, the thing.
  9. The George Kirby Memorial Square
  10. Hunter's Babymama Hush Fund
  11. Shampoo factories and stores
  12. The Sexual Harassment Payoff Fund
  13. Co-Vice-Shadow Presidentessa Harris's plastic surgeon
  14. The Joe Manchin Bribery Fund
  15. The SNL Bribery Fund
  16. The Fauci Protection Program
If you don't find your job or industry on this list, do not worrying. You matter too! Disclaimer: you matter in our hearts, not in any legally binding sense.

El Presidente's Ice Cream Flavor of the Day is PEANUT BUTTER CHEESECAKE. Make sure you enjoy a refreshing scoop of PEANUT BUTTER CHEESECAKE today, comrades. 

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