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Trumpenfuhrer announces first offensive in War on Science

By James -
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DC- The Trumpenfuhrer laid out his grand vision for his war against Science. "I will not rest until the scourge of Science has been driven from the fatherland," he declared. "Its cities will be razed, its men shot, its women and children enslaved." Reichminister of State Rexxon von Tillerson announced that the Science embassy has been closed and all of its personnel imprisoned for crimes against the state. In addition, the Trumpenfuhrer made a stunning display of bipartisan outreach in naming Certified Minorities Shaun King and Elizabeth Warren, as well as Certified Women Bruce Jenner and Bradley Manning, his top generals in the War on Science. Already several nuclear missiles, ironically designed and built by Science itself, have been launched at Science's major cities and industrial centers. It is expected that the War on Science could take several years, but the Trumpenfuhrer said not to worry about that, because at the conclusion of the war we will no ...
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Trumpenfuhrer cancels elections, China

By James -
The Trumpenfuhrer's top doctors today announced an initiative to perform what they refer to as a "China-ectomy." This is in response to the outbreak of Chinese Flu that the globalists at the World "Health" Organization insist came from a wet market and not from the nearby bioweapons lab. (To demonstrate their commitment to this thesis, the globalists at the World "Health" organization have allowed said wet market to reopen.) The Trumpenfuhrer took to the podium today to decry China's continued existence, and therefore announced that in conjunction with declarations by the governments of Italy, Japan, and the puppet "government" of Britain (we would have invited Germany, but they're run by an icky globalist woman), the following alterations to diplomacy with China were being made: all Chinese consulates immediately to be closed and converted into Trumpenfuhrer Museums of American Greatness (the other, lesser countries would of cou...
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A new blasphemy

By James -
It has come to our attention that there exists a blog calling itself The Grasshopper Lies Heavy . This blog purports to show an alternate timeline , with incredibly disturbing developments. The point of divergence appears to be that in this hellish alternate reality, the U.S. never invaded Iraq. Barack Obama remained an obscure back-bencher, unable to use his opposition to a war that launched before he arrived in the Senate to strike a contrast with She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. As a result, She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named won the 2008 election, and was roundly defeated by Mitt Romney in 2012. Grasshopper purports to show a reality where President Romney, now on his second term, and a cadre of globalist scum, have taken over the world, and EU is ravaged not by hordes of Islamic invaders but by the wages of communism. Reichminister of Public Indoctrination Betsy DeVos has issued a statement condemning the work as dangerous and subversive. Reichminister of Public Safety Jeff Sessions has issu...
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