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El Presidente Vigorously Prepares for Real Debate

By James -
 Aloha Kakistanis, we have much tales to tell. And not much time to do the tellings in, for El Presidente needs his rest. He is busy man.  Put not stock in the rumorings of failure at the presidential debate against alleged candidate and convicted felon Orange Man. No failure took place. Indeed no debate took place, because Orange Man is not a legitimate candidate for office. But if such debate did take place, then El Presidente did fine. If El Presidente did not do fine, is of no problem, because El Presidente has the best team advising him at all times. Except on the subject of getting a good night's rest before the debate. Four more years. Ignore the actuarial tables. UPDATINGS: We here at The Blog in the High Castle have learned of a most insidious plot by the senile El Presidente to keep Shadow Vice Presidentessa Harris down, in her place, in the kitchen. We fervently denounce this awful right-wing anti-feminist plot. How dare the president not be truthful with the Kakist...
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Trumpenfuhrer cancels elections, China

By James -
The Trumpenfuhrer's top doctors today announced an initiative to perform what they refer to as a "China-ectomy." This is in response to the outbreak of Chinese Flu that the globalists at the World "Health" Organization insist came from a wet market and not from the nearby bioweapons lab. (To demonstrate their commitment to this thesis, the globalists at the World "Health" organization have allowed said wet market to reopen.) The Trumpenfuhrer took to the podium today to decry China's continued existence, and therefore announced that in conjunction with declarations by the governments of Italy, Japan, and the puppet "government" of Britain (we would have invited Germany, but they're run by an icky globalist woman), the following alterations to diplomacy with China were being made: all Chinese consulates immediately to be closed and converted into Trumpenfuhrer Museums of American Greatness (the other, lesser countries would of cou...
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Trumpenfuhrer announces first offensive in War on Science

By James -
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DC- The Trumpenfuhrer laid out his grand vision for his war against Science. "I will not rest until the scourge of Science has been driven from the fatherland," he declared. "Its cities will be razed, its men shot, its women and children enslaved." Reichminister of State Rexxon von Tillerson announced that the Science embassy has been closed and all of its personnel imprisoned for crimes against the state. In addition, the Trumpenfuhrer made a stunning display of bipartisan outreach in naming Certified Minorities Shaun King and Elizabeth Warren, as well as Certified Women Bruce Jenner and Bradley Manning, his top generals in the War on Science. Already several nuclear missiles, ironically designed and built by Science itself, have been launched at Science's major cities and industrial centers. It is expected that the War on Science could take several years, but the Trumpenfuhrer said not to worry about that, because at the conclusion of the war we will no ...
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