TRUMPENFUHRER CELEBRATES 100 DAYS WITH INAUGURAL HUNGER GAMES AT FYRE FEST

By James -
The Trumpenfuhrer nationalized the press today. In unrelated news, the New York Times and the Washington Post have both spontaneously declared today to be "We Love the Trumpenfuhrer Day."

ELVIS IMPERSONATOR REPLACES BANNON AS STRATEGIST

Defense adviser James Mattis declares: "Build city walls first!"

Kim Du Jour warns Trumpenfuhrer: "Our words are backed with NUCLEAR WEAPONS!"

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