Dispatch #3 (February 4, 2017)

By James -
No Man's Land- Party forces are still stalled at Cermak Road. Reports now suggest that, although Rahm "Emmanuel" Goldstein succeeded in swimming the river, he used the Blue Line tunnel to return to the Loop. As yet there is no word of former "president" Obama's whereabouts.

Hollywood- The actress Sarah Silverman has disappeared after making unkulturny comments about the Trumpenfuhrer. Inquiries are being made.

Berkeley- Investigations continue into the funding behind the Communist riots earlier this week. A series of pre-dawn raids into the homes of known associates of seditious financier George Soros have been authorized.

Miami- The Trumpenfuhrer continues to make good on his promise to keep the American people pure of foreign influence. Truly no-one is more committed to returning foreign nationals to their country of origin.

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