Mike Flynn Dies on Fishing Trip

By James -
Carson City, NV- The Trumpenfuhrer's National Security Adviser, General Mike Flynn, passed away suddenly and unexpectedly late last night while visiting the Lake Tahoe estate of Paul "The Bull" Manafort. According to the Trumpenfuhrer's bodyguard, Al Neri, who was with the general at the time of his passing, Flynn did not suffer. "In fact," Neri reported, "he appeared to be praying."

In other news, the Trumpenfuhrer has granted clemency to the rank-and-file #NeverTrumpers. Their ringleaders, on the other hand, have been sentenced to death. Conflicting reports suggest that Evan McMullin fled his captors and is at large.

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