Know Your Enemy: Chelsea Cyborg
Citizens. It falls to me, your voice of warmth and reason in this not-yet-made-great-again America, to inform you that enemies are still all around us.
We mostly call them "Democrats."
Now, understand that most "Democrats" are actually decent people. It is important, citizens, to distinguish between the rank-and-file footsoldier who often doesn't know any better, and the general, who must be summarily beheaded. (This is what our Trumpenfuhrer did recently in pardoning the #NeverTrump hordes, incidentally.) Your neighbors are most likely of the rank-and-file sort, those who will be spared the coming purges but who will likely need to live as second-class citizens in order for our brave new world to thrive.
The rank-and-file, you see, have been whipped up into a frenzy by the remnants of their leadership. Yes, even though she-who-must-not-be-named has been vanquished and dispatched to oblivion, her loyal courtiers continue their malevolent work. These sinister forces, citizens, have conspired to foist upon us a most unlikely successor, a robot calling itself "Chelsea Clinton."
It is our belief that this "Chelsea Clinton" is pretending that the fact that her "parents" were "people" thus makes her "people" as well. This is all part of their plan to have her replace the Trumpenfuhrer (may his light guide us eternally).
It falls to me to tell you, however, that "Chelsea Clinton" does not exist. She has neither personality nor accomplishment; she apparently does not even eat her steak with ketchup. The Democrats - the leadership, that is - will continue to tell you over the next four years that this creature is eligible for the Presidency. Do not believe them.
They will tell you that she has read books. Lots of books. They will tell you that she communicates. They will probably one day tell you that she has ideas.
Poppycock.
Resist, citizens. Resist the myth of "Chelsea Clinton." And together, we can build a future worth living for.
We mostly call them "Democrats."
Now, understand that most "Democrats" are actually decent people. It is important, citizens, to distinguish between the rank-and-file footsoldier who often doesn't know any better, and the general, who must be summarily beheaded. (This is what our Trumpenfuhrer did recently in pardoning the #NeverTrump hordes, incidentally.) Your neighbors are most likely of the rank-and-file sort, those who will be spared the coming purges but who will likely need to live as second-class citizens in order for our brave new world to thrive.
The rank-and-file, you see, have been whipped up into a frenzy by the remnants of their leadership. Yes, even though she-who-must-not-be-named has been vanquished and dispatched to oblivion, her loyal courtiers continue their malevolent work. These sinister forces, citizens, have conspired to foist upon us a most unlikely successor, a robot calling itself "Chelsea Clinton."
It is our belief that this "Chelsea Clinton" is pretending that the fact that her "parents" were "people" thus makes her "people" as well. This is all part of their plan to have her replace the Trumpenfuhrer (may his light guide us eternally).
It falls to me to tell you, however, that "Chelsea Clinton" does not exist. She has neither personality nor accomplishment; she apparently does not even eat her steak with ketchup. The Democrats - the leadership, that is - will continue to tell you over the next four years that this creature is eligible for the Presidency. Do not believe them.
They will tell you that she has read books. Lots of books. They will tell you that she communicates. They will probably one day tell you that she has ideas.
Poppycock.
Resist, citizens. Resist the myth of "Chelsea Clinton." And together, we can build a future worth living for.
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