Gorsuch vows inquisition
By the sacred and venerable will of the Trumpenfuhrer, let the following missive be distributed to the masses:
At his confirmation hearing today, Tribune Neil Gorsuch, JJE (Judge, Jury, and Executioner) vowed an extensive investigation into treasonous activities committed by the outgoing Obama Administration. "There is no such thing as innocence," Gorsuch declared, "only degrees of guilt." He added that any traitors discovered and convicted would be sentenced to death by crucifixion.
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