Party Vows to End Climate Change

By -
Denver, CO-The first Party summit on ending climate change was a resounding success, according to Reichminister of Blood and Soil Scott Pruitt. There were a number of recommendations discussed on ways to end any change in the Nation's climate. These were the three options most seriously debated at the Summit:

1.) ban all use of fossil fuels by current and former members of the Democratic Party. Party forces will remove Democrat citizens to specially set-aside reservations that may only be powered by clean renewable energy sources. These citizens would be able to live out their lives free from the corrupting influences of inexpensive refrigeration, transportation, heating, and air conditioning.

2.) build a large climate-controlled dome around the country. This idea was a favorite, as the dome could be added to the wall already being constructed.

3.) tilt the planet to end all change in climate--this is a longer term goal that the Party hopes to achieve once the War on Science is finally won.

At the end of the Summit, it was decided that all three options would be pursued, as the Trumpenfuhrer sees no reason to limit himself to just one course of action.

"I can do them all. Believe me," he told an adoring crowd from his Trump Tower balcony.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A new blasphemy

By James -
It has come to our attention that there exists a blog calling itself The Grasshopper Lies Heavy . This blog purports to show an alternate timeline , with incredibly disturbing developments. The point of divergence appears to be that in this hellish alternate reality, the U.S. never invaded Iraq. Barack Obama remained an obscure back-bencher, unable to use his opposition to a war that launched before he arrived in the Senate to strike a contrast with She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. As a result, She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named won the 2008 election, and was roundly defeated by Mitt Romney in 2012. Grasshopper purports to show a reality where President Romney, now on his second term, and a cadre of globalist scum, have taken over the world, and EU is ravaged not by hordes of Islamic invaders but by the wages of communism. Reichminister of Public Indoctrination Betsy DeVos has issued a statement condemning the work as dangerous and subversive. Reichminister of Public Safety Jeff Sessions has issu...
Read more

Trumpenfuhrer announces first offensive in War on Science

By James -
Image
DC- The Trumpenfuhrer laid out his grand vision for his war against Science. "I will not rest until the scourge of Science has been driven from the fatherland," he declared. "Its cities will be razed, its men shot, its women and children enslaved." Reichminister of State Rexxon von Tillerson announced that the Science embassy has been closed and all of its personnel imprisoned for crimes against the state. In addition, the Trumpenfuhrer made a stunning display of bipartisan outreach in naming Certified Minorities Shaun King and Elizabeth Warren, as well as Certified Women Bruce Jenner and Bradley Manning, his top generals in the War on Science. Already several nuclear missiles, ironically designed and built by Science itself, have been launched at Science's major cities and industrial centers. It is expected that the War on Science could take several years, but the Trumpenfuhrer said not to worry about that, because at the conclusion of the war we will no ...
Read more

El Presidente detects structural abnormality in economy

By James -
Image
 Greetings and saluti, comrades. Am reports big goings-on in glorious People's Republic of Kakistan to-day.  Economic forensics laboring gloriously under El Presidente's supreme leadership have detected what is referring to " structural abnormalities " in glorious People's Republic economy. El Presidente's economists have assured us that ordinary people THE HARD-WORKING PROLETARIAT, THE TRUE HEROES OF GLORIOUS KAKISTAN cannot detect these structural abnormalities and will not affecting by them. Adding that it would be "unfair and absurd" to expect the rich, upon whom this burden rightfully belongs, to pass it on to the serf underclass HEROIC PIONEERS OF SOCIALIST LABOR .  Although economy is suffering from inflation CALMLY WEATHERING THE STORM OF STRUCTURAL ABNORMALITIES this is still far too complex a situation for meager capitalist running dogs to handle. Having been alerted to the backlogs of cargo ships in and outside Kakistani ports, El Pre...
Read more